.

From 2004 to 2016 (approximately), Pop-Tarts released a series of animated commercials under the slogan, “Crazy Good!”

These commercials revolved around a cast of characters tricking Pop-Tarts pastries into being their next meal. This was interesting, and somewhat traumatizing to some kids, because it was established that both humans and Pop-Tarts lived amongst one another in society. Yet, at any point, a human could prey upon and murder a pastry publicly with no repercussions. Pop-Tarts would run for their lives screaming, get manipulated into traps, and vocally mourn for their dead friends and family members.

The cast of predatory characters was diverse, including various humans, a poodle, an iguana, and a kangaroo. However, there was one character in particular that caught the eyes of many viewers. The reasons for this varied. For some, she appeared to be the most sadistic in her methods compared to the other characters. For others, she’s noted to have one of the most recognizable personalities. And of course, there are those that just think she’s a baddie.

I am one of those shameless individuals, and I am not afraid to admit my admiration for the Pop-Tarts girl.

The GIF above was taken from a commercial where the Pop-Tarts girl had hacked into the GPS of a pastry’s car. She then guided them to crash into a toaster, and watched excitedly as they were just about to toast to death.

Much like that commercial, the Pop-Tarts girl tended to create more elaborate plans to kill her targeted pastries. Especially compared to the other characters, who either acted as assistants to her schemes or simply hunted them down. While some of her plans were organized traps, others relied on her charisma. More specifically, she would use a flirtatious facade to manipulate the pastries into letting their guard down around her.

Her ability to put up such an innocent front in this world of constant terror poses a great advantage in accessing more vulnerable areas of the pastry society. She has eaten at least 2 celebrities. One as they were on the red carpet, and another in their dressing room. She has also found her way into pastry oriented careers. Leading to one of her most infamous crimes.

I’ll let the commercial speak for itself.

As controversial as this commercial was, she hasn’t only eaten an infant once, but twice.

I feel as though, even in this terrifying world, these actions must be unethical, no? In our universe, it’s very looked down upon for us humans to eat animal young. And if we do, we either choose to be ignorant of the process or vouch for more ethical standards. But you would never see someone eat a baby lamb in front of its mother so grotesquely.

To make things worse, these pastries are obviously conscious people with equal intellect to their human neighbors. They speak multiple languages and have unique cultures within their own societies. They’re nearly identical to humans in complexity, the only difference is that they are far more frail and naive.

In this world where hunting and killing Pop-Tarts pastries for enjoyment is so epidemic, the Pop-Tarts girl still manages to express greater psychopathic tendencies compared to those around her.

And I love that for her. <3